Tunnel InVision

I decided to cut myself off from video games recently. I went into my account management on world of warcraft, and into the parental settings. I changed the times I am allowed to play to only fridays and weekends. I do like being able to limit my time, but I hope that I don't realize can change it back at anytime. Desperate times call for desperate measures! (cliché line right?) But doing these measures to myself seems to work.

Many times I have cut my mmorpg (massively multiplayer online role playing game) addictions in an impulsive cold turkey manner. Why I do this is because so many times when I have just quit a game I still want to go back and play it, so I do. I am not able to quit things fully on my own. So many times I have resorted to getting my characters "banned." That is when a game master or admin freezes my character or account from being playable anymore. So what I do is diverge in my own guilty pleasures and try to disrupt the enjoyment of others.

I don't know why I really do this, maybe it is a form of going out with a bang? regardless, it is a pretty immature thing that I am accustomed to doing. But that is always following another thing I always do when I force myself to quit cold turkey- give away all my items in a video game. Countless times Ive held stupid trivia and other stuff and gave away all my virtual belongings. All these hours ive spent on some game and what ive earned I just give away for free and then following it, I just commit virtual sacrifice by doing selfish pleasures.

It is almost as if I live in a social balance. First, I do such nice things to random people I have never met before on these games, but when I am out of items to give myself the joy of giving, I immediately follow it with the joy of making other people internet rage. I guess it makes me feel as if I equaled them out. I think I have some growing up to do.