I'm a guy. No, seriously.

Yeah, the title explains it. I am a guy. I was in a heated debate with a friend, if it was easier being a dude or a dudeette. Actually, it wasn't a debate really, she was saying it was easier to be a guy and I pretty much agreed.

REASONS WHY IT IS GREAT TO BE A GUY:

1. I get to scratch my butt in public. Apparently women actually don't allow themselves to do this, and honestly I have never even thought anything of it. I scratch my butt in the middle of the hall ways, however, I avoid intense scratching of volume or depth, as that passes the line into creepy.

2. Every morning when I look in the mirror, I think, "Damn, I'm one sexy hunk." I could care less what other people think of me, the more girth a man has, the more volume and density, which is almost practically related to muscle. If I flex my guns and something is there, then holy crap, I've been working out too much and might need to slow down.

3. I love my hair. The more simple hair gets on a guy, the more girls like it. It is a little known fact that I am sharing with the world. You don't see girls chasing dudes with dreadlocks, but ones with shaved heads. I don't gotta spend an hour every morning seducing a straightener, I just make sure it isn't bedhead and I am good to go.

4. I get to avoid tampons. Tampons scare me.

5. Whenever I am wearing nice professional attire clothes, I get to do something crazy. And when I say crazy, I mean crazy. By the end of the night, I go from business to party simply by removing my tie and putting around the forehead like a headband. Oh yeah, party on dudes.

lumberjacks are so manly

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