grades

We got our midterms today. My grades were pretty good I guess. I mean, I actually started to work hard in classes and I actually began to get good grades. Getting them wern't not too hard to do either, it just required labor. That is what the key to success in GPA is, laborious work. The corrolation, I feel, is there and astounding. It also, amazingly as it sounds, feels pretty good to get good grades. Never in high school did I actually try at getting high grades as I have this term and last, and I regret not trying this hard in the past. I mean, I got a C in AP World history, and now I am cranking out A's in AP classes.

I think that also this new extreme nationalism for good grades has been acquired from my past bad grades. When I visited the University of Texas for a college tour, I began to realize, "Oh Crap, my gpa where it is now will not get me into this college." And thinking this really sucked. I mean, i want the option to go to any college I want, and hearing the admissions officer talk I realized just how important class rank is. It was rediculous, because it almost sounded like that was the only thing that they took into consideration! So I cracked down on grades. I started, believe it or not, studying. It is not hard to get a 3.0 without ever looking at a textbook, but getting a 4.0 is a lot harder.

So I think I am going to continue to try to get these good grades. Next year won't be so easy, because I am going to be in a few MORE AP classes. Right now I have found a delicate balance between AP classes and regular classes... but next year it will be all focus on grades. This is sort of going to suck, I just hope that I can get a good GPA the first term, and then senioritis grades the last terms!


butterflypages.files.wordpress.com

so you think you can dance? no, i don't

today I decided to go out on a whim and try out for show choir. this is something big for me because i have been the chairman of anti-showchoir for probably the past 10 years. It was a really spontaneous decision of mine to even try out. today was only the dancing part, but maaaan i was terrible. I realized that when you have never danced before, you actually lack a sense of rhythm. I think the reason I don't have rhythm is a lack of some bone in my foot or something. well, the main problem was my memorization. when you do the dance for the coach guys or whatever, apparently you have to remember the dance, and i forgot to remember the dance. So I got all mixed up multiple times. I think it is even harder to get back on track when you mess up. You see, the reason why I did so awful is because in the 'training' i was playing off the person infront of me, and then they threw a fucking curveball and made us stand in a line, which blew my mind. So after today when I think of my future, I think of possible lawyer, doctor, politician, and maybe even a teacher. But any dreams I have of being a professional dancer are dashed. I was hoping a major in political science with a minor in salsa dancing could get me to presidential status, but now I will only be the president who can't salsa dance.

going into this, I was thinking, "Huh, boy, you haven't ever really danced before in your life have you?" and the amount of experience I acquired in my lifetime showed, which was short of nothing. But hey, I couldn't care less that I can't dance a conga line, I tried! And damnit, what more can a boy with two left feet do! so I am proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone, yeah! i could care less that I am making a defense mechanism!

So I look at this and think that I can overcome any challenge! except the vocal audition part is tomorrow...... fuck



extremely related

My Youth

One of my friends has a brother with a tattoo. It wasn't very professionally done and it was his favorite band's symbol to the left of one of his pecs on his chest. I have always had my parent's opinion when it comes to tattoos, that they are stupid and not worth having something on your body always. Yet he told me his reasoning behind getting his tattoo, "It was a symbol of my youth, it makes me think of all the good times I had whenever I look at it." This got me thinking about my youth.

Recently when I was driving I was just thinking of what I thought of my youth. I loved it to be completely honest. I loved all the moments, even the stupid ones that I am supposed to look back on with shame. The times that my decisions were 'less then thinking of the future' and 'less then... legal' I don't regret. I am glad I didn't get busted for these to be honest, so I look back with zero percent regret and 100% nostalgia.

I want to look back on my times and remember them being the greatest times of my life. I want every moment in my past to be fantastic and also, I want to look back when in the future at the present and think the same thoughts I am thinking of now when looking back into the past (wtf kind of sentence was that?)

So about tattoos, It doesn't sound so bad. For the first time in my life 5 minutes ago I actually considered getting one. What would I get? I don't know really, I don't think I would want a band symbol, but maybe something related to what the majority of my youth was devoted to, maybe something like video games. What would I get? A master sword and hyrulian shield maybe? Possibly mario, not sure, but if it was video games it would have to be nintendo. But also maybe something related to computer, but that might just be too nerdy.

I might not need a tattoo to look back into my youth with joyful nostalgia, but it sure would be fun to do!




probably not to this extent
wiinoob.com

more Karma

So I feel sort of bad, I was pretty mean to this guy. You see, in the musical, as rambled on before, I was in charge of moving the stinking stairs. Another 'stage tech' person was this other kid who seems a little different. He was in charge of moving the cube, alone with 3 other kids. He just really pissed everyone off in so many ways. I could blog 1200 words in a week easily just talking about him pissing me off, but thats not really what this post is about. It is about what I felt towards him, it was sort of weird. He would piss me off so so so bad and then I would be mean to him. He wasn't the one to stick up for himself very much. Afterward, I would feel terrible. It was almost like I was bipolar between pity and hatred.

In the middle of a scene, he walked off because he needed a drink. he just went off. We were so mad at him, I don't know how to handle this, as he seemed to be like a two year old. And when he got back, he said that he was not ignorant. I don't get how someone can be not ignorant yet so oblivious at the same time. I even stared him down one time. Yet after these moments, I still continued to feel bad for bullying this kid. I happened to know he liked to play rock paper scissors, so I played that with him. I immediately switched to the pitiful mood.

I wonder what this guy thinks of me. I wonder if he thinks that I am a bully, because I sure do think I was one. Yet I tried to make amends and be nice and give him a birthday present (which was a free burrito card from my wallet to pancheros). I would personally hate someone who was a jerk to me and then tried to be nice to make up for the mean times they acted like a jerk to me. I just don't know how to get things like not getting him to walk around behind the stage where the audience can see him without getting frustrated and angry at him.. don't get me wrong, after we got mad he didn't do it again, but that doesn't mean it felt good to do.

I think this one goes to karma to decide. How my karma ended up here? I am not sure, I think it is somewhere from neutral to bad. I am going to say sorry, but would it really mean anything? Just because it is over that means it won't happen again, but if the musical wasn't over I would still most likely get just as pissed at him. I still feel bad.



ncfy.com

Unintended Volunteering

So for the current musical the high school is putting on, I am probably on the stage more then anyone else in the entire production. I am not the lead principle actor however, not even the second most important. I got drafted to be the co-'stair guy'. Yeah, I move the effin stairs. What more do I do than that besides sing in the chorus? Nothing. I move the stairs, nothing more. Its pretty lame. And I am positive you are asking yourself, "oh mr, how did you get drafted to be such an important person sitting off on the side of the stage and not supposed to be moving, and moving the stairs when needed?" WELL FINE BLOGREADER, I got this stupid assignment on accident. A question by the director was asked of "hey, can someone come help move these stairs?" I accordingly volunteered myself for a quick minor task. Yet, he asked again later, "who helped me move the stairs again?" I politely raised my hand, and he responded that I was stranded on the stairs-moving island without an escape plan. Besides the main actors, I do much more work than anyone else in the entire play. All this work has made me bitter and bitter until I have been counting down the days until the whole damn thing finishes.

This situation brings up a lot of different thoughts about volunteering. I have always been one to raise my hand to offer a quick hand on a minor task, but being put into this morethen minor job was a different matter. I involuntarily volunteered. Yet, volunteering pleasures arise from the joys of helping others, and I am doing this, so I am honestly baffled and confused why I hate doing this so much. I am not sure if it is because the people around me are all just hanging out off stage messing around playing cards, while I am required to sit still and not talk or move. It is not relaxing, because the constant threat of 'DON'T EFF THIS UP YOU MORON" is lingering above my head. I also am confused because I did actually get some recognition from the director, telling me thanks for stepping up to move the stairs.

So I still wonder why I hate this damn job so damn much. I think the reason might go back to the involuntarily accidentally volunteering myself for more then I was originally going to voluntarily volunteer for. But dissonance arises as I chose to be someone with a nice set of morals in the first place, yet laziness and greed make me want to sit on my ass and watch some other poor sap move the goddamn stairs. It is not like I am going to just quit this however, I am going to stick it out. The best way to do that is to just shut up and do it. So this was my stair moving vent, phew.


the stairs sorta look like this
voyayer.efflecliffe.org.uk

No one can get anywhere without direction. Direction is everything, is is the way you are heading, it the way you are pointing is the exact way that you are going, and there is 359 other degrees you can be going, but however you are going this way. There is no wrong direction to take, as it cannot be something that could considered wrong... it is a matter of your preferred direction or nonpreferred direction. The manner of direction and just how right it is is what defines how effective something can be.

So I got onto this ramble of direction due to a bad direction that someone has been giving me recently. Someone who is supposed to be leading me lately has been giving awful direction. I say this because someone who chose to be a leader, and also someone who I accepted as a leader of my own has been leading me awfully. The reason why I am doing such a nastygram blog is due to this.. them blaming me for a lack of leadership skills that they are exibiting. I was blamed for speaking out of place when they were silent. Is that really fair? If I am not being led anywhere, why am I supposed to follow them? How do I even do that? I see no reason to do that to be honest. If they suck at being a leader, let someone else take over.

So again I was sort of stuck in a dilemma here, who should I let be my own personal leader? Do I follow the man in authority who has been giving me sass for not letting them be a totalitarian? Or should I just join in the mob and be another face in the crowd and give the dictator lip? How many alternative options are there, should I become a leader under the authority of the dictator? Or would I just look like a powerless dictator? Questions like these are dumb to answer, and I sort of prefer the easy way out. That is why people are so passive about things like this, because the bystander effect makes us just sit and do what they tell us...............now that was a good ramble lol




news.yahoo.com
totally almost irrelevant, yet only slightly related

chill out dude

I think everyone needs to slow down. It is simple as that, today as I was driving and sitting at a stop light I was thinking; everyone is always moving. I looked at all the faces that drove past me while I was waiting. We are constantly either sitting at a stop light or moving towards the next one. Never do you see people just watching stoplights from the sidewalks, as we don't seem to be accomplishing anything when that happens. It just feels like everyone is moving too fast and need to stop and watch the world around them.

Of course that is another one of the 'buellerisms' yet I feel it is so true. I also fall under this catagory of not enjoying what is infront of me. I feel it is hard for myself to even enjoy something as simple as the world around me because the world doesn't sit still for long enough to me to even catch the glipse of what is going on. This is another crazy what if moments, but what if everyone did decide to 'chill out' for a little bit. I know I sound like a wacked out San Franciscoian, but I think we all should just relax sometime. A moment where everyone could just go outside and slow down for a breather. Everywhere you go, there are people passing you busily on their way to work, out to eat, or to school.

I don't think we should do this national chillout day because of the environment, but for something a little bit more important- our selves. Yes everyone says the environment is important, but I think that our survival is a little bit more important. So I am not going into how the environment affects our survival, yet, I think our emotions and stuff are what really affect our survival as a human species. I think that one of the most important things to do as a human in order to keep one's sanity is to... like I frankly put it, chill out every once in a while.


bp3.blogger.com

Video Games, revisited again

So I created this blog with the worry of picking topics for it. I dreaded thinking of what I would commit myself to speaking about 3 times a week for a year. So I chose something that i was passionate about... that being video games. They were what I spent all my time on, and what I spent the majority of my thoughts thinking about. I must admit, I was psychologically addicted, and I mean every sense of it. I tried to tell myself I wasn't, and I would always joke about it. But video games were an honest to god addiction to myself. However, due to multiple reasons, I kicked the habit, and it feels pretty damn good to do so.

I will start by saying that I would play world of warcraft so many hours a week. I would get home, start playing at 4, and get off about 9ish or be on and off for maybe 3-5 hours of world of warcraft every single night. To be honest I just thought of it as a hobby. The problem was, I was not occupying myself with anything else to do in that time, so really there was nothing wrong with doing that. I would go home and not be participating in any other extracurricular activities. I had so much free time, I played these video games. That was the cause of this addiction, sheer boredom. When I wasn't playing world of warcraft, I was doing absolutely nothing. However, I did normally get my homework done, but it was normally in a half-assed manner because I wanted to spend time playing and I would only devote the bare minimum amount of time to homework.

So I attempted to quit multiple times. I tried everything to quit cold-turkey style from this drug of warcraft. I stopped my account, but I later continued it. I uninstalled the game, but later installed it. Even in desperation (and after seeing a movie that denounced materialism) I unplugged my computer, yet it became plugged in again. None of these methods made my willpower strong enough to stop playing these games. So I recently asked myself, how have you not played this video game at all in the last month? It is simple really, I occupied myself.

Occupying myself was a great way to kick this addiction that spawned from boredom. I joined speech, which took up so many hours of my life, and then with a new girlfriend, and then later with the spring musical sweeney todd. When sometimes people say that actions speak louder than words, I can say that this only sometimes works, but a really powerful theory would be 'out of sight, out of mind.'

So I think the best way to deal with something like a psychological addiction, or something of that nature, is to hide it. Hiding a problem like this can actually be effective. hiding it forces yourself to put it in the smallest corner, where it is one day forgotten. However, with this tactic, the most important part is the forgetting of it. Hiding emotions can be bad when they all boil over!

Social Networking is Working

Facebook, myspace, twitters, and blogs. They are all social networking. These new notworking websites have opened up thousands of new possibilities to the users. They allow us to explore the internet and communicate with each other with us seeing each others photos and interests. We are now able to see what they are up to and how they have been. Not only that, it is easy to keep in touch. With just a few clicks we can instant message. Something most effective then texting and easier to handle than calling on the phone.

I do feel that instant messaging like this on social networking sites has conditioned people to be less socially connected to each other in a way. I mean this by people are too held back by anxiety from not being used to talking on a phone. I remember a long time ago when I dated a girl, she would be scared to talk to me on the phone and she would only talk to me on Aol Instant Messanger. Besides this, I can only think of one other possible negative side effect of social networking sites, that being the rise of creepers. That was a post I made earlier in the year.

I think it is pretty rediculous when parents do not let their children get a social networking site. After useing it for hours upon hours, I think all the great positive things that arise from it smash the few negative side effects that parents are prone to seeing. However, it is really when parents allow really young children to get a facebook. One of my cousins that is 11 or 12 has a facebook. Facebook seems to be more high school or college orientated, and I do not feel that children that young should be exposed to a thing like facebook. I do think that they are more prone to be the target of such 'creepers'. They should just wait until all their friends are getting them... that is in high school!

Social Networking sites are great ways to interact with each other.


mediabistro.com

Karma

I believe in karma. I will first start with a simple story that my friend told me and why he believes in karma. He had been messing around and making fun of some kids with some fellow neighborhood kids. That was that one times many years ago that we had the freak wind storm. He was walking through the woods and an actual tree fell on him and his friend that he had also been making fun with. They were both hospitalized. He said because of this he believed in karma. It is simple how karma works, he caused emotional pain on someone else, and something else caused physical pain on him. An eye for an eye, an ear for an ear.

My take on karma is this, is someone does good deeds their entire life, there is still a possibility that someone can do harm on them. That is the fallacy on karma, bad things can still happen to good people. I just think that these people do not deserve these bad things to have happened to them. That is where the game of karma becomes a game of fairness. It is now a game of who deserves to get what they get. The world is not always just, sometimes a good person will get something that they do not deserve, and sometimes a bad person will also get something that they do not deserve. The balance is pretty delicate. I feel that everyone has a general feeling when someone deserves what they get. If the nicest person in the school came into a financial fortune, people would be pleased.

A person that receives something that they do not deserve has been given one of the most unjust things that they could be given, positive or negative. This employs the golden rule, do unto others what you want done upon yourself. If someone emotionally hurts someone, as awful as this sounds, but by my reasoning I think they deserve to be emotionally hurt themself. However, this just does not sound right to me. That is why I feel we should have a just world, and everyone should be nice to everyone. I don't know, don't worry be happy? ELE- Everybody love everybody?

So I present a new way to improve karma: work on it! If you have messed up personally, attempt to work with it and make things better. Just like in the TV show, My Name is Earl, I think people should attempt to make amends for the mistakes they have made. Besides, it feels better when you do fix them. And you never know, you might deserve someone making their amend for their mistakes to you.


a fantastic idol for improving your karma
collider.com

The Incredible Bulk

There is no longer reasons to buy in bulk. When I say this I do not just mean going to Sams Club and buying 50 pounds of toilet paper for your family in the Christmas season, I mean buying in bulk with things such as music and television channels. These things are now becoming more and more accessible to individuals by only paying for what they want, and not paying for excessive items. Before people would not be able to afford things like this, but with today's current methods of marketing it is all possible with things like online transactions.

ITunes is a perfect example of this. iTunes currently lets users have the ability to only buy the songs they like for a dollar a song. They are able to go to a song that they heard on the radio and just buy it with a click. No longer are they needed to go out and buy the entire CD that was almost purely gross income for the record company. Record companies are one of the most overpaid industries, but that is irrelevant. Ipods have revolutionized the music industry, not the music. Things like iPods and Zunes now let people customize their music profile with only the songs they like, and none of the 'bulk' extra stuff that normally would be put into a CD player.

To be honest, CD players are starting to become extinct with the new enemy of CD players, the mp3 players. The kids at school laugh at people who walk around with the cheap old CD players now. They are just old news really. 13 songs of the same artist on something twice the size as the device that can carry 10,000 songs. CD players are out.

The last ramble of this is the possible future. I look at television, as they are attempting to implement a new type of viewing, customizing like an iPod. This would let the viewers only pay for the channels they choose to pay for, rather then the current mass package that comes when someone wants the outdoor hunting channel (yeah my hick cousin bought the biggest package for one channel). One of the controversies to this is a poke at ethics. A small channel like a public access channel or a religious channel would have absolutely no chance of having success. No one would want to pay for a channel like this, and no advertisers want to pay to have their advertisements on this channel. It is yet another example of the Rich getting richer. Another reason why this is currently being avoided is because... yes, the rich ARE getting richer. I am speaking of the channel providers. They are continuing to keep their products in bulk so people will be dumb enough to pay for the premium package for the hunting channel. Regardless, they win.

So in fin, I ask, is all this really bad? Mp3 players are a fantastic invention, do not get me wrong. I have multiple to be honest. And also, if I was allowed to pay for my channels, i would. These things are pure beneficial to the viewers and users, but I ask for the ethics behind the people that they are murdering economically. Sometimes things are too good to be true.


farm1.static.flickr.com

Financial Matters

The first thing I can say in this post is something we learned in AP psychology; money does not corrolate with happiness. A person that is a paraplegic can rate the same amount of happiness as a millionaire. A comedian once said that money can’t buy happiness, however money can buy a jet ski. That is why I feel that money cannot actually ‘buy’ happiness. However, I feel that money can affect happiness. I feel that changes in financial status are what can affect happiness.

Imagine two people of equal happiness. Now, imagine one of them winning a lottery. I am guessing that the person that won the lottery might have a better and happier day that day. Yet, I also feel that if two people of exact same equal status, and then one of them went bankrupt and lost their money, I bet they would be pretty sad and depressed. Happiness can be gained with money, and it can also be lost with money. It is all in perspective. Sometimes giving someone 5 dollars to buy footlong from subway can create happiness. So yes, I feel that money can create happiness, just in an indirect way from what people think

That’s why in all the sitcoms they have a rich person that is pretty sad. They don’t do this to make people feel sorry for financially firm people, rather than it is something that can happen. As crazy as it sounds, rich people are people too. Everyone is the same on the inside in a way.

The final thing I can think of is donations and alms. Everyone says you need to donate to help the poor. I think that donating is a great thing to do. The real reason why I think we should donate is because the benevolent feelings we achieve from giving away money. It is selfish, but for the right reasons. You could spend 5 dollars on something to make yourself feel a little better, but you could spend that 5 dollars on someone else to make them feel better. So the end result is making them feel better, and you feel a little bit better yourself. So rather then being 100% happy yourself, you are say.. 50% happier, and the other person is 100% happier. That’s 150% increase in total, rather then 100%.


tech-house.upenn.edu

Teamwork

I have been playing a video games recently: Battlefield: Bad Company 2. To start off, this game is super awesome. Lots of tanks shooting missles and helicopters flying around to take objectives; however there is one aspect of this game that differs it from many other video games and things. It is that is requires teamwork to win.

In other games if you have one really great player, the rest of the team can slack because they know that that one play will pull them and carry them to the finish. But this game is different, as slacker and unskillful players will hinder the team effort. The more a single playesr dies, the closer they are to defeat. So the players work together to achieve victory of either destroying the dam over the harbor, or saving the dam from certain doom. The players hop into helicopters together. As one pilots the apache to swoop down, his fellow squadmates fire the machine guns out of the sides to rain hellfire upon their enemies.

Too often do people feel that they can carry their team to victory without the help of their teammates. Yet also, sometimes people put their teammates in the back of their mind and forget that they have backup all together. Flanking an enemy base from behind is extremely noneffective when it is a solo operative mission. Shot by a sniper; mission over. However if your buddy is a medic he can revive you! Teamwork people!

Times like this is when people forget teamwork. I think that if people in all kinds of situations took into consideration of their fellow peers and used them to help themselves they would accomplish so much more. That is why peers should not be considered peers, peers should be seen as teammates. This might sound a little bit crazy, however, if people all viewed everyone else as teammates so many problems could be solved, and also hundreds of new things could be accomplished. Teammates work together for their common goal of solving their common problems. If something really radical happened like everyone was a teammate, there would not even be any enemies. Working together can solve miracles.

I have no idea how to possibly achieve a goal of something like everyone thinking that everyone else is a teammates. People differ by way too many reasons. It seems that they are clouded by their perceptions of the people around them. They understand that they have individual goals and that they have no intrest in their own goals. Teamwork, if ever mass produced, could cause so many positive things.


teamwork, ccsmallbusiness.files.wordpress.com